I am gutted that Elizabeth Warren put a fork in her presidential campaign.

Rather, I am gutted that Democrats around America put a fork in her campaign. They voted for one of two nearly 80-year-old men because they believed one had a better chance at beating Trump and the other had better progressive cred. Or some combination of the two. No one wanted to take the gamble on the literal smartest person in the room because she also happens to possess a vagina, because her voice is an octave higher than the comforting authority of a masculine timbre, because she was at one point in her political career a Republican. Because in countless meaningless ways she was determined by voters to be “unelectable,” and so, she became unelectable, because self-fulfilling prophecies are exactly that.

Beating Trump in November is job number one, and it’s a hard one. Not because he’s good at being President (to state what is painfully, abundantly obvious), but because more and more of America is scared of the new and unknown; because huge parts of our populace never learned some basic shit about how to evaluate the information that pours out of the dirty social media faucet; because people think the Daily Stormer and the New York Times are created equal and that Alex Jones is a reliable source of information; because when some people don’t have the patience to understand complex issues, they just default to whatever has the least number of syllables. I heard somewhere once that Trump was America’s Id—the lizard brain, bent on self-preservation, self-gratification to the expense of all other things. As we’re witnessing, Trump’s slavish dedication to his own self-aggrandizement and protection is directly responsible for the erosion of our institutions, our standing in the world, the effectiveness of our society to protect itself from, say, global epidemics. People understand his motivations, his small words, his small mind—because it’s all so appallingly transparent. Combine that with the drastic misperception that the so-called coastal elites are just a bunch of over-educated snobs who want to kill babies and give criminals a monthly stipend and a blowjob and you get the MAGA heads. It’s so easy to yell and belittle and demonize. People understand that. It makes people feel powerful.

I’m guilty too. I quickly write off Trump fans as heartless self-serving racists without two functioning brain cells to rub together. I try to dedicate myself to more compassionate thought, to assume good intentions that have perhaps gone awry by way of circumstance or misunderstanding. But, my dudes, it is hard. People come to their views and beliefs by countless influences—some chosen, some not. There will always be a divide between conservative and liberal. But it seems we all hate each other more all the time. Nothing to do that can fix that besides everyone making a concerted effort not to jump to the worst possible conclusions about everyone else—and that’s just a small, paltry start. And we’re nowhere near it. And every time I read a Tweet from some Trump-loving asshat praising the President’s “intelligence” and “leadership” or spouting off bullshit justifications for all kinds of racist fuckery or posing oh-very-manfully with an enormous assault rifle, I want to crawl through the internet and punch them in their face.

But anyway, I am grossly digressing from my point. Let me see if I can find it again.

Warren is one of the smartest and most pragmatic politicians working today. She’s all of Bernie’s sweeping, ambitious policy changes backed by the ability and willingness to navigate the multitude of unavoidable landmines, booby traps and sniper nests that pepper the landscape between the status quo and a socialist democratic society. She can articulate how a wealth tax adds up astronomically in a way that even a billionaire, is like, “sure, I guess I can live with that.” She understands that no one, not her, not Bernie, NO ONE, can walk into the White House and abolish the private health insurance industry and bestow free healthcare on a grateful nation on day one. Don’t get me wrong—that would be amazing, in theory, in a vacuum free of negative and unintended consequences. But in reality, you can only make a plan to build a bridge to your ultimate goal. Fundamentally our country needs to relinquish the whole culture of healthcare being a capitalist, for-profit industry. That does not happen by executive order. That definitely does not happen as long feckless capitalists rule the Senate. We need down-ballot change also. We need a fundamental shift in how healthcare operates in our economy. We need to have a plan for what millions of people who work in health insurance and related industries are going to do for a living when that’s gone, or they’ll go the way of coal miners and factory workers and typists.

The Bernie people were against her not because they don’t like her vision, which is nearly identical to Bernie’s, but because she has the audacity to suggest that the changes wouldn’t come by way of revolution and sheer force of will, but by working to find the common ground with the other side and building it up from there. I like Bernie’s ideas—because I like Elizabeth’s ideas—but I am deeply skeptical that his cantankerous, stubborn, shouty, uncompromising comportment is going to do anything but make the other side dig in deeper. If he’s the nominee, and he wins against Trump (two enormous if’s), I would be prepared for more disappointment than success, and four long years of Republicans losing their goddamn minds because “socialism,” followed by the horror show of a Donald Trump Jr. campaign in 2024.

But then there’s grandpa Biden. A charming, likeable guy to be sure, riding Obama’s coattails harder than Paul Revere rode his horse to Concord. Not that Biden doesn’t have a record of his own, but no one can convince me anyone would be taking him seriously right now if it weren’t for the eight years he spent as VP to the most popular Democratic President since Kennedy who also happened to be the first black President. Do I think he’s a decent man? Sure. Do I think he’s full of great ideas for the direction of our fractious and faltering nation? I might if he would articulate anything specific, but he seems more intent on platitudes about returning sanity to Washington (godspeed, sir) and restoring the soul of the nation, which, sure, I’m all for it! But how, exactly? Have you met Mitch McConnell? Have you gotten a look at the judiciary of late? What about the State Department and all our important alliances and relationships with foreign governments? What about the erosion of the balance of powers and rule of law? Also, ahem, climate change…? Any real thoughts there? Biden seems to be placing a lot of faith on the notion that things will just snap back into a pre-Trump state of being as soon as he is sworn in. I want to hear how he’s going to address the very real damage Trump has done to, well, everything. I don’t think he can fix it all, and won’t insist that he should. But I’d really like some specifics on how he’s going to try.

Bernie and Biden are making a lot of assumptions about their effectiveness as President. Warren didn’t make assumptions. She made assertions about her potential effectiveness backed up by real, researched plans of action and an intelligence that can flex and move in time with her opponents’ arguments, finding points of agreement and wearing them down with the force of logic and facts. She has the ability to synthesize mountains of complex information and distill it into an argument, an action, a plan, a next step. Bernie and Biden are certainly capable of such a feat, but their presumptions about their respective potency preclude their willingness to adapt to the information if it does not slot neatly into their expectations. I could be wrong about that. I really hope I am.

I have not voted yet. I was looking forward to voting for Warren in the New York primary at the end of April. But now my choice will be between Biden and Bernie. Do I choose the ideals I like with the questionable ability to effectively mount them? Or do I choose the inoffensive and likely unrealistic attempt to return to balmier political climes? I am unconvinced that either of them has a real chance to beat Trump and his machine. I think they both inspire huge swaths of the voting populace not to bother, which is how the loss will happen.

Which I guess is the next battle: get people out to vote no matter who gets the nomination, no matter what. #votebluenomatterwho people.

But in the meantime, consider comments open. Convince me—Bernie or Biden? Tell me who you’re for and why. I truly want to know. Help me understand these two options better. That said, running mate selections will be more consequential than ever, especially given that both of them are pushing 80. All due respect to wisdom and experience, but we need some youthful energy up in this shit.

If I were a religious person, I’d say God help us all. But since I’m not, I’m just going to go drink a martini and hope everything will be okay. And by okay, I mean not having four more years of Trump.

Image: Esquire magazine, June 10, 2019